The Dismissive of the Virtuous

RSS

Tengah malem, perasaan ga tenang. I am pressing myself, my willing, too hard, and so nothing is done. Is it how it feels like to have a dead-end life?

Screw me

You want to trust me but you can’t? You don’t have to. I don’t need any trust. I don’t need people to trust me well enough. I don’t need you to trust me well enough. I’m not craving for trust. I know I’m desperate. I know I’m definitely not trustworthy. I don’t wanna be one, though. So, go. Trust whom you wanna trust, leave whom you wanna leave, love whom you wanna love. 

The Trip

(FYI, I’m typing this text with a bit unconsciousness left, as I was really unconscious since four hours ago.)

The trip was really fun and dumb. Thinking about being dumb when we were really being dumb is a really fun dumb thing. Well, ever, until recently. Oh yeah, we as I was and am with my friend Atta. We had the trip just the two of us, though before we were four, two others left earlier, one took and the other one didn’t take as many as the one before. 

We were talking about how and why we were talking like that. It was like a Dawg. You know, contradiction, endless loop, whatever. That, to me, is very very interesting. The trip just showed me what is real and what is not, though it isn’t real in fact. That’s contradiction itself. Interesting, innit?

Visually, we saw things in quite a different, fascinating, funny way. People who have tripped would say, “yeah, that’s the effect. it’s ordinary”. Yes, it is. Fascinating. We were looking at one leaf of a banana tree. It was like, rotating, fading, disappearing, and appearing again. I don’t know why, I know in a conscious state we’d say it’s nonsense, but it was amazing though. And others. Too lazy to type, but it’s too much.

When I realized the effect was decreased, I listened to music. Pretty interesting. It’s:Polyester Embassy - Have You, Blur - Blue Jeans. Each of them reminded me to one person.

The first song is about a girl I really adore personally. You, you’re a saint to me. You are like a mother to me. Like telling me “stop right now, you look so messed, what happen in present tense?”. Guide me my life as a human always, please. I love you, more than before, R.

The second song is about love. A really romantic love song to me. You. I can’t stand it when you look sad, it kind of hurts me so much. I can’t stand it when you smile, it kind of makes me see a pure, white, calming beauty. “Whatever I say, I don’t really want to change a thing”. If you don’t mind. You know it’s to be with you, L.

Last but not least, it may sound nonsense. Yes, it does though. But it makes some thing a bit clear, with a way that you could call it “blur”. I just want to pour things, so I won’t forget too much, and leave a mark. Ta!

Smoking is not healthy? Yes.

Rokok. Merokok. Iya, itu bukan hal yg baik, bukan kebiasaan yg bagus. Emang semua orang pengen sehat, pengen deket sama orang sehat, pengen punya pasangan orang sehat. 

Ada orang yang ga pengen pasangannya itu seorang perokok karena mereka aja nyakitin diri sendiri, apalagi ke orang lain. Well, kalo gitu sana cari orang yang cuma makan sayuran, ga makan fast food junk food, ga makan makanan berminyak, ga makan makanan berlemak, ga minum minuman yg pake pewarna buatan, pemanis buatan, ga makan mi instan yg pengawetnya banyak, toh yang ngelakuin hal2 barusan juga nyakitin diri sendiri kan? Ga sehat kan?

Only a piece of my stupidity, though. Don’t mind.

Ideology? Principle?

I was out with some friends chatting, while it turned out to be more serious topic. I was in confusion myself at the moment. So what did we discuss? It was about principle.

Talking about principle… what is principle by the way? Google says, principle is “a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning”. What am I reasoning? Suppose I have a belief that I am an antihipster. Hipster is an antimainstream person, in a simple way. Mainstream means common. Well, so I can say I look pretty cool, being the different among the different, can’t I?

No. It doesn’t mean it at all. It means that my principle depends on people’s principle. What do you think of being dependent about principle? Well, the point is that I don’t have what you people call “principle”, “ideology”, whatsoever. I am a wood on a river.

And it’s about time for me to be completely wasted.

thegirlintheredsunglasses:

hissingganja:

this is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but a whimper

Kate

DAWG

(Source: smvrgs)

(Source: chrisevansfanblog)

vincent-and-sunflowers:

Did you mean to drop it?

— I was like, fuck, I don’t think I did actually.

May 9

we are the unaware of the importance

I am about to give a simple little speech in a kind of mathematics game or quiz or what it is you name it tomorrow, as I am to be in charge. So, I desire to write things down a bit for what I am going to deliver at the event, just to help me out pouring abstract things out in me head. What is this about? Mathematics, of course.

Enough English in the opening is enough. Mari kita mulai dengan campur-campur aja.

Ini semua dimulai ketika gue masuk sekolah dasar. My dad said from the beginning, “De, pokonya yang penting harus bisa pelajaran Matematika sama Bahasa Inggris. Yang lain-lainnya mah, penting sih, tapi lebih gampang lah.”. Oh well, karena itu dari sd gue terus2an dicekokin soal2 matematika, dan ya lama-lama seneng juga. Nilai matematikaku waktu sd bagus-bagus hehe dulu aku sempat pintar! Tapi itu dulu….

Well you know, most of people hate mathematics, especially in this lovely wasted country, Indonesia. I tried to see why people hate it so much. Pelajarannya susah, banyak rumusnya, banyak itung2annya, bikin pusing, buang2 waktu, ga guna. Lebih jauh lagi: ntar dipake buat apa, ntar kalo kerja ga akan kepake, kalo kerja paling cuma jadi guru atau dosen, duitnya dikit, susah cari kerjanya. What do you feel about that? For me, it’s a blessing! Why?

Let’s see a problem in a global way. Indonesia udah 69 taun merdeka, masih jadi negara berkembang aja. Perusahaan2 macem pertamina atau pln yang dulu berjaya, udah kelewat sama perusahaan2 asing macem petronas yang belajarnya sama indonesia/pertamina. Yah, Indonesia memang negeri yang mengagung-agungkan kejayaan masa lalu. Why?

There may be many causes. You’ll probably say: pemerintahannya janc*k, sistem pendidikannya jelek, kebanyakan politik, korupsi, dll. It’s all right. Tapi yah terlalu teoretis, mengawang2, dan gak guna deh ngomongin gituan, kecuali kalo anda2 mau jadi politikus atau pegawai pemerintahan yang niat ngebenerin negeri ini. Toh ga ada niatan jadi pejabat pemerintahan kan? PNS yg gajinya ga gede2 amat? Pengennya jadi direktur perusahaan yang gajinya besar biar hidup ga susah aja, kan? What on earth can you do to solve those big, systematical problems? Nothing. Criticize? It won’t help much.

Back again. Kenapa negara ini gak maju2? Salah satunya karena negeri ini tidak memperhatikan matematikawan dengan baik. We’re only busy talking about group or party importance, national importance for a certain group’s business. Endlessly talking about it, the problems, without any effective solving efforts. We don’t do research in which we obviously need, or we are just not able to because we are too stupid to research. That’s where mathematicians take part and play very important role.

Matematika tidak diperhatikan di negeri ini. Liat aja calon mahasiswa peminat jurusan matematika di Indonesia. Sedikit coy! Kalah telak sama jurusan kedokteran atau farmasi yang sangat sangat popular di negeri ini. Emang sih, pelayanan kesehatan memang penting, tapi kan lebih penting menjaga kesehatan, dan lagian motifnya juga biar kerjanya gampang dan duitnya gede. Bandingin sama negara2 maju di eropa sana atau di US, jurusan matematika itu salah satu yang jurusan paling popular dan matematikawan itu sangat dihargai dengan gaji paling besar di antara pekerjaan lainnya. Contohnya di US, bisa crosscheck sendiri hehe. (Well I fell blessed by the way, jadi bisa masuk jurusan matematika tanpa persaingan ketat ._.v)

"Kalo kuliah di matematika, lulusnya mau jadi apa? Paling jadi Guru ya? Dosen?" Jadi guru/dosen, iya jelas. Bermanfaat kan? Tapi ya mikirnya jangan sesempit itu lah. Matematika itu alat untuk memecahkan masalah. Masalah apa? Banyak! masalah keuangan, asuransi, per-teknik-an, lingkungan, computer programming, industri, sosial, psikologi, sampe judi juga bisa coy! Tinggal liat masalah yang ada di sekitar dan pake kreativitas elo dikit, matematika kepake coy. Lebih jauh lagi, negara ini kekurangan matematikawan. Lo mau kerja di mana aja gampang coy kalo udah jago matematika. Seengganya kerangka berpikir orang yg suka/jago matematika itu lebih keren analisisnya daripada yang bukan, kata orang2 sih. At least you know how to maximize your left brain usage, which is really necessary and advantageous. 

Yah, ngalor ngidul tulisannya. The point I try to make is… matematika itu penting dan sangat sangat bermanfaat. Kalo nganggep matematika itu ga penting, kerjanya susah, gajinya kecil, lo salah besar! Peluang diterima kerja gede, dikit yang nyari kerja di bagian matematika/riset operasi, walaupun mungkin lowongan kerjanya dikit. Kalo lo kreatif, lo bisa gampang bikin kerjaan sendiri nyari duit banyak dengan matematika. Manfaatnya juga gede. The advantage you can take here in Indonesia is lo bisa gampang masuk kuliah jurusan matematika! Buat yang bingung2 milih jurusan atau punya ade2 atau temen2 yang bingung milih jurusan, Mathematics is a preferable one.

Besok speech sepanjang ini gitu ya? Haha kepanjangan. Maafkan atas tulisan yang ngalor ngidul, tidak ringkas, tidak padat, dan miskin data valid. I’m no good writer.

Cheers!

  • A: People'll think...
  • B: I don't care what people think.
  • A: You'd care if they thought you were stupid or wrong.
  • B: No, that would just make them stupid or wrong.